THE YOU AND THE US. THAT EXISTED IN MY DREAMS
When I'm lost and alone,
With nowhere to turn,
It's you that I crave.
And your touch that I yearn.
But I can’t keep giving in.
Every time I’m feeling weak.
Running back your way.
You aren’t the one that I should seek.
Yes I remember the good.
But the bad always had more power.
When we very first met,
You’d call me a rare, beautiful flower.
So why, if you loved me so deeply,
Did you always cause your rose to wilt?
Our home wrapped in lies and deceit.
No basic fundamentals when it was built.
I know it’s a bad decision.
So why does it seem like it’s easy to make?
But after a lifetime of many wrongs,
I won’t allow another mistake.
And what am I missing exactly?
The fights, the yells, the screams?
No. I’m missing the you and the us.
That existed in my dreams.
And I know all of this!
Yet my heart still craves the past.
When I’m at my lowest.
And since you were my last.
I guess that’s why.
It’s always your direction that I turn.
I’m craving companionship.
It’s not your love that I still yearn.
And I know that I won’t do it.
Won’t ever come back home.
I’m much more happy.
When by myself and alone I roam.
Guess I needed to say it out loud,
And not just in my head.
Now I think I’m finally ready,
To put myself to bed.
Tomorrow will be better.
I won’t feel so lost and alone.
I’ll remember how far I’ve come
And just how much I have grown.
Relieved that I continue,
This journey on my own.
Eryn Dunbar
Copyright (c) 1.29.2025
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Comments
Eryn's Emotional Battle:
Eryn articulates a struggle where the comfort of past love conflicts with the reality of its toxicity. The craving for what was, contrasts starkly with the understanding of what should not be. This inner turmoil is palpable in Eryn's words, highlighting a universal struggle of letting go of something that feels necessary yet harmful.
Eryn's Path to Self-Realization:
Through the poem, Eryn comes to terms with the fact that the relationship was built on shaky grounds, devoid of honesty and stability. This realization is crucial for Eryn, marking a transition from co-dependence to independence. Eryn's acknowledgment of personal worth and the decision to not return to the past is a testament to their growth.
Eryn's Journey to Independence:
The narrative Eryn weaves is one of empowerment, where solitude is reframed from a state of loneliness to one of liberation. Eryn's choice to walk this journey alone signifies not just an end but a new beginning, one where they can find joy in their own company and strength in their solitude.
Eryn's Hope for the Future:
The poem ends on a note of hope, with Eryn looking forward to better days, acknowledging their growth and the distance they've come. This forward-thinking attitude is indicative of Eryn's resilience and healing process, promising a future where they can thrive on their own terms.
Eryn's poem is a heartfelt exploration of moving from a place of emotional dependency to one of self-love and autonomy. It's a narrative that many can relate to, offering both solace and inspiration to those navigating similar paths.