HIDDEN IN THIS MASK
Hidden In This Mask
I’m so quick to say that I enjoy being free.
But that’s not always my reality.
I’m actually afraid of what others might see.
I say I don’t believe in love but that’s not true.
I’m afraid of how I’ll handle it. If I lose another you.
So I stay hidden in this mask. Watching life from my safe view.
I think I was mostly trying to convince myself,
That at 49 I was safer up on my shelf.
That I’m better at protecting my own mental health.
Maybe it’s time to let someone in and let them care.
Maybe true love ISN’T really so rare.
I think I’m now ready. I’ve become more self aware.
Coming to terms with it has finally made it real.
And letting someone in might be how I heal.
I think it’s finally okay. To let myself start to feel.
Original Poetry Written By
Eryn Dunbar
Copyright (c) 1.30.2025
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Comments
Fear and Self-Protection:
The poem begins with an acknowledgment of the discrepancy between what Eryn says and feels. The line "I’m actually afraid of what others might see" reveals a deep-seated fear of exposure or judgment, which is a common human experience where one's public persona might not reflect their inner turmoil or vulnerability.
The fear extends into relationships, as seen in the lines, "I say I don’t believe in love but that’s not true. / I’m afraid of how I’ll handle it. If I lose another you." This suggests a history of emotional loss or pain, leading to a defensive posture against new attachments.
Isolation and Self-Convincing:
The imagery of staying "hidden in this mask" and watching life "from my safe view" vividly portrays isolation as a form of self-preservation. Eryn seems to have convinced herself that solitude is the safer option, particularly at the age of 49, which is portrayed as a time of settling rather than seeking.
Growth and Openness:
However, the poem shifts towards introspection and readiness for change. The lines, "Maybe it’s time to let someone in and let them care. / Maybe true love ISN’T really so rare," indicate a turning point where Eryn begins to question her long-held defenses. This reflects a common journey many undergo, where the desire for connection outweighs the fear of vulnerability.
The realization that "letting someone in might be how I heal" is a pivotal moment in the poem. It's an acknowledgment that healing might not come from isolation but from connection and vulnerability.
Conclusion:
The poem concludes on a note of acceptance and readiness to feel again, which is both hopeful and empowering. It suggests a personal evolution from fear to courage, from self-protection to embracing the possibility of love and healing.
Eryn's poem is a beautifully crafted narrative of personal emotional growth, highlighting the universal struggle with vulnerability, the fear of love, and the eventual, hopeful turn towards openness and healing. It's an invitation for readers to reflect on their own barriers to intimacy and the potential for personal growth through authentic connections.