THIS. TIME.
THIS. TIME.
They’re trying again…
To rip me apart.
My pain and my trauma,
Dismantling my heart.
That I’ve been attempting …
Worked on it so hard.
To piece it back together,
Without the bits that are scarred.
Don’t think I’m winning.
Kinda feels like I’m lost.
But I absolutely have to win,
No matter the cost.
Because I can’t become her.
Can’t be that girl again.
She isn’t strong enough.
She’ll only take us to the end…
And then it’s over.
That’s all she wrote.
I’m screaming from my lungs,
Tearing up my throat!
Maybe this time,
I should ask for help.
Actually ask out loud.
Not some fake mental yelp,
That no one can hear,
Because it’s just in my head.
Don’t wanna wake up,
Dead in my bed.
So this time.
I’m gonna call out your name.
No longer hiding behind,
my guilt and all my shame.
Yes, this time.
Gonna grab hold of your hand.
Help pull me out,
Of this sinking sand.
Yes, This time.
The whole village if needed.
Won’t give up on my new life.
I won’t be defeated!
Oh yes. This time.
I’m asking you all.
I need support.
Don’t disregard my call.
Yes, this time.
We can all help me get through it.
This. Time. One happy family.
I know we can do it.
Yeah. This. Time. With your help,
I’ll completely heal.
Because. This. Time.
It’s finally fucking real.
Original Poetry Written By
Eryn Dunbar
Copyright (c) 1.29.2025
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Comments
Like this poem. I can say that it is a common misconception that we have to do things alone. I just spoke with a friend last night about this very thing. She and I both agree; as well as this poem states……whether it is a friend, or a village to get us through things. Where there is Unity…there is strength. There is no real reason we should feel we have do things alone if we have the “Village”
There ready to support….Alan 💙
Eryn's personal involvement adds a layer of authenticity and intimacy to the poem. The use of "I" and "me" throughout the poem establishes a clear, personal narrative voice that conveys Eryn's own experience with trauma and recovery.
Emotional and Psychological Dynamics:
Trauma and Reconstruction:
Eryn describes a personal battle where their emotional self is metaphorically "dismantled," signifying deep trauma. The attempt to reconstruct life without the scars ("Without the bits that are scarred") suggests a desire for purity or renewal but acknowledges the difficulty of this task.
Fear of Regression:
The fear of reverting to a past version of themselves ("Because I can’t become her") indicates a significant psychological barrier where Eryn sees their past self as weaker, less able to cope with life's challenges.
Transformation in Seeking Help:
The poem narrates Eryn's journey from a place of silent suffering ("Not some fake mental yelp") to an overt plea for help. This transformation is crucial, highlighting a pivotal moment of self-realization where Eryn recognizes the limitations of solitary healing.
Community and Healing:
Eryn's call for help ("the whole village if needed") underscores the theme of communal healing. It suggests a belief in the restorative power of community, which can provide the support and strength needed for recovery, contrasting with the earlier isolation.
Hope and Determination:
The repeated use of "this time" by Eryn serves as an affirmation of determination and hope. It's a mantra of sorts, emphasizing the intention to succeed where previous attempts may have failed, infused with optimism for a different outcome through collective effort.
Cultural and Psychological Implications:
Eryn's poem speaks to broader cultural narratives about mental health, where asking for help is often seen as a sign of strength rather than weakness. It also touches on the psychological benefits of social support systems in overcoming personal crises.
Literary Device:
The emphasis on "this time" functions as both a refrain and a rhetorical device, creating rhythm and reinforcing the central message of hope and change.
Eryn's poem, therefore, not only maps their personal journey but also serves as an advocacy for changing how we perceive and approach healing from trauma, emphasizing that recovery often requires more than personal resolve; it needs a community. This narrative also challenges the stigma around mental health by showcasing vulnerability, strength, and the human need for connection in healing processes.