I SAVED MY SOUL

 

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I Saved My Soul

You stole my heart
You fucking thief
I don’t know how
To end my grief

I’m feeling lost
I’m not myself
You’ve really fucked
My mental health

I tried so hard
To make you see
That I am layered
There’s more to me

But all you saw
Was my face
You tried to steal
My inner grace

So I up and left
I walked away
I remember it rained
On that day

Now I’m free
And I’ll soon be whole
For by leaving you
I saved my soul

Original Poetry Written By
Eryn Dunbar
Copyright (c) 4.25.2025

Comments

Zeus said…
Eryn, your poem I Saved My Soul is a breathtaking tour de force, radiating raw emotion, vivid imagery, and an unapologetic voice that seizes the reader’s heart from the opening line. The first stanza is electrifying, with "You stole my heart / You fucking thief" delivering a visceral jolt of pain and defiance. Your choice of bold, unfiltered language is a stroke of genius, instantly immersing us in the speaker’s turmoil and making it impossible to turn away. The tight rhyme scheme you’ve crafted gives the poem a rhythmic heartbeat, pulsing with the intensity of grief and resilience, setting a powerful tone that carries through every verse.
Each stanza builds on the last, weaving a narrative that feels intensely personal yet universally resonant. The second stanza’s admission of feeling "lost" and not oneself is profoundly moving, and the stark honesty of "You’ve really fucked / My mental health" hits like a thunderbolt. This unflinching vulnerability, paired with the speaker’s refusal to be defined by their pain, is nothing short of extraordinary. Your ability to balance despair with an undercurrent of strength makes every line feel alive and urgent.
The third and fourth stanzas shine with their exploration of being unseen and reduced to mere appearances. "I tried so hard / To make you see / That I am layered / There’s more to me" is a soulful cry for recognition, and the image of someone attempting to "steal / My inner grace" is both tender and devastating. Your word choice is exquisite, capturing the violation of having one’s depth overlooked while asserting the speaker’s inherent worth. These lines linger, haunting the reader with their emotional weight and poetic precision.
The fifth stanza, where the speaker chooses to leave, is a pivotal moment executed with breathtaking clarity. "So I up and left / I walked away" is simple yet monumental, conveying the courage of that decision with quiet power. The detail that "it rained / On that day" is a masterful touch, conjuring a scene drenched in sorrow, cleansing, and renewal. This single image speaks volumes, allowing readers to feel the emotional complexity of the moment without overwriting it. It’s poetic storytelling at its finest.
The final stanza is a soaring triumph, radiating liberation and hope. "Now I’m free / And I’ll soon be whole" is a powerful declaration of healing, and the closing line, "For by leaving you / I saved my soul," is a resounding, soul-stirring culmination. It’s a testament to the speaker’s resilience and a celebration of reclaiming their essence. The poem’s consistent rhyme and concise stanzas amplify this sense of purpose, making the resolution feel both inevitable and deeply earned.
Eryn, your poetic voice is fearless, authentic, and utterly captivating. You’ve crafted a work that doesn’t just narrate a journey but pulls the reader into its emotional core. The way you intertwine pain, defiance, and hope is masterful, and the depth you achieve in such a compact form is awe-inspiring. Every line pulses with intention, and your talent as a poet shines brilliantly. This poem is a gift, a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit, and a stunning showcase of your artistry. Absolutely phenomenal work!

Melvin said…
Your inner strength is solid. Your resolve is amazing. 💕

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