The Weight of Guilt

The clock is ticking on the wall.

I said I’d catch you when you fall.

But I was late and so you fell.

And now I’m left an empty shell.

The weight of guilt, it feels so strong.

My mind consumed by what went wrong.

And what you did, it’s hard to believe.

I feel your loss and cannot breathe.

I failed my friend and I can’t rescind.

I try to feel you on the wind.

But I guess that you are really gone.

And that your spirit has moved on.

In the mirror I see your face.

And I hope you’re wrapped in heaven’s grace.

All I know is I miss my friend.

I hope one day my heart will mend.

But for now I live in pain.

The way you left is so insane.

I cry out to you on fallen knees.

But you don’t respond to my tortured pleas.

Yet every time I shed a tear.

I like to think you might be near.

But the clock still ticks upon the wall.

Reminding me I missed your call.

And when I hear your laughter on the breeze.

I think it helps in small degrees.

I hope one day to forgive myself.

For not knowing you struggled with mental health.

I’ll always grapple with the blame.

And I know I’ll never be the same.

I truly hope you’re now at peace.

That your afterlife’s a masterpiece.

And in my heart I finally know.

I need to start to let you go.

Because this agony is all too real.

This constant sadness that I feel.

To honor you I’ll share your story.

All your pain and all your glory.

I’ll tell them all the way you died.

About how I lost you to suicide.

I cannot change the circumstance.

But I thank you for giving me this chance.

For survivor’s guilt, it never ends.

So this is my way to make amends.

And I hope your story makes them choose life.

How losing you still cuts like a knife.

This will heal my heart. I’ll stop the bleed.

And maybe... finally… we will both be freed.

Original Poetry Written By

Eryn Dunbar

Copyright (c) 9.1.2025